Marge and Sally

I hate spiders right. You know this, I know this. The whole internet knows this by now. And of course, Japan is covered in spiders. They’re everywhere. Of course, I’m blessed with this terrifying sight right above my door every time I leave the house:

Terrifying. Huge. Green. GREEN.

And the second I turn around for refuge I’m greeted with this thing over here:

Now, in attempt to become less of a wuss when it comes to spiders, I decided “Hey! Wouldn’t it be fun to give them really harmless names that way they’re less scary!? I know! I’ll call the one above my door Marge, and the one next to her Sally, that way they won’t be as scary!” Right? Wrong.

Marge and Sally are still terrifying. The only difference now, is that on my second day of being here when I looked up and saw that Marge was gone, I instantly panicked figuring that some bug man had come and destroyed all their webs to get rid of them and now Marge was somewhere on the street living destitute and selling her body to feed her kids. I began plotting revenge on this exterminator man, figuring I would hit him with the broom that he most likely used to obliterate Marge’s home that she had worked so hard to construct herself.

Until I looked a little to the left and saw she was still there. Instantly a ride array of emotions hit my head. First: Gross, I can’t believe I felt bad for a spider. Two: WHY hadn’t a bug man come and destroyed her web? Three: Crap, I still have to see her every day. Four: But now I’d feel bad if she suddenly disappeared.

Ugh. I don’t like it. And now I’m just wandering around mostly terrified that a bug is going to land on my head and eat me. Eeeesh.