You see, my friend Nicole has this Sensei that she sits next to in her staff room who, from the stories I hear, is a very generous man. Apparently he has seven boxes of assorted snacks hidden under his desk, and at the most opportune times will bestow snacks upon the nearest and luckiest. After quite some time of receiving snacks from this particular sensei, he was thereby dubbed Snack-Sensei.
We all have different Sensei’s that we work with. Snack-Sensei. Crazy-Sensei. Always Sleeping-Sensei. Suddenly Busts Out Random And Fluent English-Sensei. And this led me to begin thinking… what Sensei do I want to become.
I like the idea of Snack-Sensei, but Snack-Sensei is already taken. Plus it involves investing in assorted snacks and figuring out the most opportune time to hand them out. Then I thought I’d be Party Hat-Sensei, wearing Party Hats and blowing noise makers for my birthday which conveniently comes once a month (I turned 30 today!). Nicole had the idea of becoming Answering The School Phone-Sensei which we all thought would be particularly hilarious given our general inability to understand Japanese whatsoever. I thought I’d become Question-Sensei, and just start asking random questions to every other Sensei who is unlucky enough to be within speaking distance. But finally I came up with the type of Sensei I want to be.
Stands Around With Tea In Mug While Asking Random Questions-Sensei.
I want to stand around the staff room, sipping my tea between classes. And just when things get quiet BOOM there I am with a sudden, “Honbo-Sensei. Do you like cats?” No, I’ve never said a word to Honbo-Sensei, and no I don’t know anything about her aside from the fact that her last name is Honbo, but I don’t really care if you’re married or have kids. Everyone gets married and has kids. But do you like cats? You can tell a lot from a person if they like cats.
“When you were in school did you prefer math or science?”
“Do you feel there’s a population crisis in Japan?”
“Would you never eat fish again if you could receive one million dollars?”
“Do you feel there’s a population crisis in Japan?”
“Would you never eat fish again if you could receive one million dollars?”
And I would always follow it up with “Ah sou desu ka?” (Oh is that so?), a nod, a swirl and sip of my tea, and then I’d return to my desk to sit.
This is the Sensei I want to become. Random Question-Sensei, because frankly what’s better than a random foreigner coming up to you and asking how you feel about cats?
