Where have I been!?

For those of you wondering where I've been these past few weeks, the answer is mostly hiding under the covers of my bed secretly terrified of picking up and heading out to some crazy island nation where they willingly choose to eat bacteria infested soybeans. This, I think, is not so irrational.

I have my days of bravery. Sometimes I wake up and I loudly proclaim to impending trans-continental move that NO! I WILL be adventurous and go out and investigate the world! I'll climb mountains and swim rivers and win sumo matches and find kids to trade Pokemon cards with and it will be exciting because I am the spirit of adventure!

...and then I think about the times when I'll curl up under an electric blanket in the dead of winter with a good book and realize that even if I'm not hurling 500 lbs. sumo wrestlers out of the ring with the title of Dai Gai Jin, things will be all right.

In actuality I went to Hawaii for week where I (1) jumped out of a plane (2) some how got upgraded to a red convertible mustang for my rental car (3) drank mai thais on a cruise and (4) dented the upgraded red convertible mustang by barreling it right into a giant concrete column that I knew was there.

This is why you purchase insurance on rental cars -- it allows you to drive like a nut job and get away with it. I'm sure the thirty people I came close to dismembering while driving that yacht of a car were not too pleased (especially the bicyclist that gave me a 10 second dirty glare because I was making a right hand turn without signaling and nearly ran him over (I glared right back at him like it was his fault)), but somehow I managed to survive the week without killing myself or anyone else and this I consider a success.

I could see myself living on an island. Especially out in the middle of no where. China, the US, India -- they can all pollute up a storm. It won't pollute my air since I'm in the middle of the ocean, it'll just ensure my sun tan gets that much darker thanks to the depleting ozone layer, and a Greek Bryan is a happy Bryan. Thanks India!

So now it's just about transitioning to a bigger island, and if nothing else, at least they have great beer...


....and amazing beer commercials!